Venue Reality Check

One of my pet rats, November, died yesterday. It hasn't left me feeling very much like blogging. But I skipped yesterday's blog so I decided not to let it go two days in a row. So on to the wedding madness...

If I had been smart I would have at least taken the weekend to just enjoy the intense happiness I was experiencing post-proposal. But we both have a habit of spending a bit of time online before turning in for the night and my curiosity got the better of me. I started poking around looking at venue websites.

I mean, is there a girl out there who hasn't at least once imagined what their wedding/commitment ceremony day might look like? I naturally had some ideas of the places that I considered the bees knees. And now that it wasn't just going to be a fantasy, I couldn't help but check out if some of them could be a reality.

And thats when I learned two horrifying facts. 1. Those places are freaking expensive. 2. People apparently book their weddings two years in advance.

It wasn't like I was looking at the Calatrava for goodness sake. I mean I knew that a place like that would be out of my league and much sought after. And it wasn't like I was wishing to be a june bride. Nope. I was looking for mid-september. 16 months from now. And already places which were more moderately priced, and its not my definition of moderate by the way, I just mean they were cheaper than most other places, they were still freaking expensive in my book, were booked through September of 2011.

Suddenly it became clear that we had no time to waste as one by one the places I'd once had a passing thought of getting married in fell by the wayside. We needed to book a place as soon as possible. And before we could do that we needed a guest list so we would know how big of a place we needed.

I informed Catie of all of this and she informed me she had already started working on the song selection. Because, you know, when a wedding is 16 months away, the song list is totally high on the priority list.

After expressing the urgency of the situation to her, she finally got on board. Before the weekend was over we both had spread sheets with our guest lists and determined we needed a place for between 100-150 guests. With that knowledge in hand, the both us started researching possibilities diligently. Well, I started researching diligently. Catie flitted back and forth between that and the song selections.

We immediately came up with two good possibilities and set off to visit them that same weekend. The first, The Lakfefront Brewery Palm Garden, was ultimately too expensive. The second, The South Shore Pavilion was too stinky and apparently gave Catie bad vibes because she had once attended a lesbian Valentines Day dance there and had not had a good time. But it is a beautiful setting. And fairly inexpensive. Now if we could just get rid of the musty smell...

In less then 48 hours I went from being all OMG CATIE ASKED ME TO MARRY HER!!!!! Happiness!!! to omg I have to plan a fucking party for 150 people on a very tight budget stess.

I should have taken a few days to just bask in the joy.

Next Up: The Ring.

The Proposal

I have no recollection of what I was wearing the day Catie proposed, even though it was less than a week ago, but I do remember she was wearing a pair of army style camo cargo shorts. This will have relevance later on.

I also remember when I got home from work that day I yelled at her for some stupid reason that had to do with a phone call. We both have a fear of the telephone. Making phone calls is often a source of tension in our house. Later when I realized what an amazing thing she was doing for me that day, I would feel like a total ass for yelling at her and consider apologizing. But I never did because the rest of the night I was so freaking happy I didn't want to taint it, and also because I wasn't really sorry for yelling at her, just sorry for making her feel bad, the yelling was well deserved.

So after our little argument we set off to pick up my sister and head to the festival grounds for the opening night of Pridefest. We wandered about, purchased a giant rainbow flag, read about the LGBT history of Milwaukee, and took pictures with the FagBug, after purchasing a DVD of the documentary. Shortly thereafter we met up with Cally, Catie's sister.

Then the four of us repeated the tour of the grounds for Cally's sake, about halfway through I was so tired all I wanted to do was try and go see if we could find seats by the main stage. Kathy Griffin was the headliner and she would not be on stage until after 11pm. My day starts at 5am. There was no way I wanted to be on my feet all night long. So when Catie suggested a walk by the lake I declined. I should have been suspicious right then and there. Catie doesn't usually advocate doing things that require extra walking. After I said no, Cally piped up that she wanted to go to the lake too, in a tone that left no room for argument. That probably should have tipped me off. Instead I just followed along feeling puzzled by everyone's obsession with walking by the lake.

So the four of us are walking when we spot a stage with some belly dancers. So we stop to watch a bit. I'd never seen a male belly dancer before. Then we continue on our way when I declare I have to go to the ladies room and split off from everyone. Poor Catie. All this time she is just trying to steer me towards the damn lake. Apparently after the bathroom break she gives up, because we are walking on path through a grassy area near the children's play zone, and still not by the lake when she stops me and somehow maneuvers me so that we are facing each other instead of side by side. And not for the last time I ask, "What are you doing?"

So she leans in for a kiss and I give her a nice chaste little peck, we are in public after all and my sister is 4 feet away, and then I try to turn and continue walking. But she stops me with her hands on my arms and again, "What are you doing?"

Her hands glide down my arms and she says, "Relax," and for a fleeting second I'm annoyed because I think she is about to pick an eyelash off me. Random much? Not really. I lose them with alarming frequency and she always spots them and plucks them off of me at random times. But we are in public, and i've told her before no picking things off of me in public. Its just weird. So yeah, annoyed.

All of this is running through my head keeping me from realizing she has somehow gotten down on one knee without my being aware of it. All I can think is now what the hell is she doing on the ground. Maybe if I ask a third time I'll get it, "What are you doing?"

What can I say. I'm a little slow sometimes.

I'd like to give you a play by play at this point. But I totally can't. Shock destroyed the memory. But I do remember processing that she was holding a sizable ring box that seemed to have magically appeared out of no where, in reality it had been in her giant camo cargo pockets all along. And that inside that box was a really beautiful ring. Which made no sense to me at all. Catie doesn't randomly buy me jewelry.

She especially doesn't buy it for me and then give it to me while down on one knee in front of an audience. Oh.

I don't think I said yes at first. I think I might have said, "Oh my god. What are you doing?" Even though by this point I knew darn well what she was doing. There was kissing and hugging and eventually a "Yes, of course." Then there was applause and a couple of "Woohoos" from a group of girls who happened to be passing by.

There was also an awkward moment where I could not remember which hand I was supposed to put the ring on. I had to ask. It was embarrassing. I'd like to clarify at this juncture that I do know which hand it is supposed to be on. But holy hell people, how's a girl supposed to remember something like that when the girl of her dreams has just asked her to marry her?

Tomorrow: Curiousity kills the Cat

This blog

I blog other places. I have a facebook account. I have many well established venues I could use to write endless posts about my lesbian wedding. But by post number four or five or six, most people I know would be ready to defriend me. I know that is how I felt about my recently married co-worker who spoke of little else other than her big day for the last 2 months. Many a morning in the locker room I wished desperately that I could just log off.

So to spare friends and family the agony of reading every minute and possibly boring detail. And yet to still allow me to do what I like best - post daily about whatever is consuming my brain - I am starting a brand new blog.

Dedicated solely to my Big. Lesbian. Wedding.

Tomorrow: The Proposal.