Save the Date - The Lesbian Bride has a Venue

The booking of our venue sort of traumatized me for a couple weeks when I'd reached my breaking point dealing with the place we wanted. As a result I steered clear of thinking of all things wedding related as much as possible until it was settled.

Catie finally went down to the place and was able to actually meet with the event coordinator. It was only our 4th combined trip there to see talk to her, but whatever.

I didn't go because when I'm upset I get slightly irrational and overly emotional. So she went on her own.

First thing she asked was if they had ever hosted a commitment ceremony before. The answer was no and yes. As of that day they had not. But by the end of this month, they will have. So at least we know we won't be the guinea pigs and they aren't as a rule opposed to it or something.

The unfortunate part was that because it took so long to make this happen, all our top dates were chosen. But in the end that fact proved to save us $3000 off the room minumum.

Why did we save such a vast sum? Because Sunday receptions have a rate $3000 less than Saturdays. And while I was generally opposed to a Sunday ceremony and reception because people have to work the next day, it turned out that Sunday, September 4th, 2011 was available. The Sunday of Labor Day weekend. Which means most people won't have to work the next day and we get to save money. I'm all for that. I know it isn't always a plus for the guests to have a wedding to attend on a holiday weekend. And I know this means that more people probably won't be able to come than if it had been on a non-holiday weekend. But as our wedding budget is very very tight, we could hardly pass up this savings.

Now lets all just hope it isn't ungodly hot. The reception site is air conditioned, but the outdoor ceremony site, clearly, is not. And neither is the inclement weather facility I believe. If it is ungodly hot. I will understand if you all just skip the ceremony and show up for the reception. :D I might do the same.

The contract was finally received in the mail on Saturday. And Catie and I signed it and will send it and the deposit back tomorrow. So 9.4.11 it is, at Hubbard Park and Hubbard Park Lodge. See you there!

What Would You Do? Getting Snubbed

Of all the venues I have looked at there has only been one that I'm really loving, Hubbard Park Lodge.

But I'm starting to get the feeling our kind isn't wanted there.

Why you ask?

Well, let's see -

I've now sent 3 different unanswered emails to 3 different people who work there. Over the course of a week and a half.

I've left a voice message that was returned with a voicemail that only gave one option to talk to someone was to go there in person when they are open on Friday or Sunday.

We went on Friday, it was closed for a wedding.

We went on Sunday, there person we were supposed to talk to wasn't there.

We left a message with our names and numbers for the person we were supposed to talk to with the hostess, who told us the event coordinator would call that day.

Its four days later and she hasn't called.

So at what point do you take a hint?

In the very last email I sent, to contact #3, I flat out asked if our inquiries weren't being responded to because the Lodge isn't interested in hosting a same-sex ceremony.

As of yet, I have had no reply to this email either.

My head tells me I should give up and move on. In all other circumstances, if a company was this unprofessional, repeatedly, I would say fuck it, and not give them my business. But I haven't seen anything else that i've liked and could afford.

This situation totally sucks.

To further add to my good mood Wisconsin's Hight Court upheld the marriage ban today

Some days I really hate the world.

Moms and Venues

After scouring every wedding website we could find on the internets for venues in Milwaukee, and ruling out all hotels because they just don't "feel like us", we happened to stumble on a location that piqued our interest.

We had originally contacted the Lakefront Brewery Palm Garden because it looked interesting to us and in an email response found out that it was WAY out of budget. However, the management also operates another facility, The Hubbard Park Lodge. And this one, although still slightly above our budget, was much more reasonable. Moreover, it actually looked like it might be something we would like even more.

We were informed that the event coordinator was there on friday nights and sunday mornings and that you could just stop by for a tour and to talk to her during those times. Friday nights they have a fish fry (its a Milwaukee thing) and Sunday mornings/afternoon they have a brunch. So we decided to go check it out.

I thought it would be a good idea to invite my parents along for a couple of reasons. 1. Catie and I aren't used to envisioning what large crowds look like in confined spaces. We needed help visualizing if a place would work for our needs. 2. I thought it would be nice to include my mom. She and I can be like oil and water. Which is, consequently, the reason the other half my brain was screaming that I shouldn't ask them to come along.

I decided to ask them to come.

I love you mom, but a lot of times it would just be nice if you said, "Oh this is a lovely spot and I think it would work." or "Oh this isn't going to be big enough, I'm sorry."

Instead I get a list of 80 different places we could also consider (which I'd mostly looked into already) And a 100 examples of what so and so did for their wedding, which frankly I just don't care about.

I know I should be more patient. But I'm just not the kind of person who cares about what anyone else did or who is looking for a 1000 suggestions. I like to do things I think of doing in ways and places I discover. And I just want you to tell me if its crazy or brilliant or both.

Needless to say there was bickering. Especially when, while eyeing the nearby Milwaukee River, my mom proclaimed that we needed to hire a babysitter for the small children who would be there. Even after I told her, probably 4 times at least, that there would only be a maximum of 4 or 5 small children at the wedding. 2 of whom were my sister's. And Catie was behind me slowly getting more and more annoyed because she thinks, and I don't disagree, that its a parents job to watch their kid and if they can't then its their job to find someone to do it. But my mom would just not let the topic drop. Or be swayed from her insane notion that it was our job to hire a babysitter for the possible 4 kids at this wedding, two of whom would be my sister's.

Argh.

Like I said, I love you mom, but don't be offended when I don't ask you to visit the next venue with us.

Although, there probably won't be any next visits, cause we sorta loved Hubbard Park Lodge.

Wedding Websites I've used so far for finding venues:
On Milwaukee Article
Premier Bride: Good long list with thumbnail pic and simple description and links to the venues website. Very useful.
The Knot: Popular but I didn't use this one as much as the others.
Wedding Mapper: Nice that I could read reviews at this one without joining.
Milwaukee County Parks Rentals Site - Handy for finding all the different places. Although ultimately none of the county parks worked for us because they either insist on a very pricey caterer - Bartolatta's or Zilli Group depending on venue. Or, in the case of South Shore Pavillion, it was musty smelling, lol.

Venue Reality Check

One of my pet rats, November, died yesterday. It hasn't left me feeling very much like blogging. But I skipped yesterday's blog so I decided not to let it go two days in a row. So on to the wedding madness...

If I had been smart I would have at least taken the weekend to just enjoy the intense happiness I was experiencing post-proposal. But we both have a habit of spending a bit of time online before turning in for the night and my curiosity got the better of me. I started poking around looking at venue websites.

I mean, is there a girl out there who hasn't at least once imagined what their wedding/commitment ceremony day might look like? I naturally had some ideas of the places that I considered the bees knees. And now that it wasn't just going to be a fantasy, I couldn't help but check out if some of them could be a reality.

And thats when I learned two horrifying facts. 1. Those places are freaking expensive. 2. People apparently book their weddings two years in advance.

It wasn't like I was looking at the Calatrava for goodness sake. I mean I knew that a place like that would be out of my league and much sought after. And it wasn't like I was wishing to be a june bride. Nope. I was looking for mid-september. 16 months from now. And already places which were more moderately priced, and its not my definition of moderate by the way, I just mean they were cheaper than most other places, they were still freaking expensive in my book, were booked through September of 2011.

Suddenly it became clear that we had no time to waste as one by one the places I'd once had a passing thought of getting married in fell by the wayside. We needed to book a place as soon as possible. And before we could do that we needed a guest list so we would know how big of a place we needed.

I informed Catie of all of this and she informed me she had already started working on the song selection. Because, you know, when a wedding is 16 months away, the song list is totally high on the priority list.

After expressing the urgency of the situation to her, she finally got on board. Before the weekend was over we both had spread sheets with our guest lists and determined we needed a place for between 100-150 guests. With that knowledge in hand, the both us started researching possibilities diligently. Well, I started researching diligently. Catie flitted back and forth between that and the song selections.

We immediately came up with two good possibilities and set off to visit them that same weekend. The first, The Lakfefront Brewery Palm Garden, was ultimately too expensive. The second, The South Shore Pavilion was too stinky and apparently gave Catie bad vibes because she had once attended a lesbian Valentines Day dance there and had not had a good time. But it is a beautiful setting. And fairly inexpensive. Now if we could just get rid of the musty smell...

In less then 48 hours I went from being all OMG CATIE ASKED ME TO MARRY HER!!!!! Happiness!!! to omg I have to plan a fucking party for 150 people on a very tight budget stess.

I should have taken a few days to just bask in the joy.

Next Up: The Ring.