Tasting, Yay! (And Why You Won't Be Eating Pork or Beef)

Mostly working on the wedding gives me a headache. But so far, some things have been quite fun.

I already mentioned that registering was sort of fun. But I also really enjoyed the tasting.

Duh right? But I was sort of dreading it as all social interactions with strangers make me ridiculously nervous. But my nerves were overcome by the fact that I had been on weight watchers for 4 weeks at that point and all this incredibly delicious food was put in front of me and I had to eat it. No choice. Guilt-free eating.

So last Thursday my mom, Catie, and I headed to Hubbard Park Lodge to meet with their banquet manager and chef and try out the food. I must add, Hubbard Park is gorgeous in the winter. And very cold.

I had anticipated that there would be disagreement between Catie, Mom and I over what would be good. The salads came out. Two kinds of salad. Three kinds of dressing and a unanimous decision about which combo was best. Huh. Well that was easy.

On to the veggies. Two choices. And again, all 3 of us liked the same one best. Weird.

Next set of choices, the starch. And here I totally think the fact that we are all on weight watchers totally helped us to agree. What deprived fat girl isn't going to choose creamy buttery mashed potatoes over wild rice? So good.

Finally, the entrees. I was the most nervous about these, because we were only getting to try the 3 we planned on offering as our choices, so if we didn't like one, we'd be making a different selection blind. Vegetarian option - All three of us agreed, so good. Fish option - quite tasty. Finally, chicken, and the last curve-ball: three different sauce choices. Sauce one: We all thought it was good, but nothing special. Sauce two: Interesting, very tasty. Sauce three: Well, as my mom put it as she sipped the remaining sauce straight from the bowl with a spoon, "This could be soup. I could eat a cup of this without the chicken." All three of us were in love with it.

I am quite certain that a circumstance where my mother, myself, and Catie have to all agree on 4 different decisions and will have complete agreement on one of them, much less 4, will never ever occur again. So the tasting gets a big smiley face and added to the fun column.

Everyone keeps telling me I won't get to eat at my wedding, I hope this isn't true. But at least I got to enjoy the tasting.

It was also nice to sit down in the lodge with the banquet manager and discuss some of the details of what would be happening without lot of other people around. We'd been to the lodge before for friday fish fry and the sunday brunch, but it was great to get a good feel for the space again without distractions. The experience overall put me a lot more at ease when thinking about the big day.

PS: If you are wondering where the beef or the pork is, I don't eat it. The pork and beef industry is extremely bad for the environment. And pigs are very smart and sensitive animals. I don't feel right about eating them, or encouraging others to do so. While I have issues with the fishing and poultry industries as well, I still personally eat seafood and poultry and have fewer qualms about it. So while I don't judge others for eating what they like, you'll forgive me if I don't want to supply it for you.

Pissed Off

So apparently none of the three dates I asked about are available. Though remember they were when we started this whole fiasco 3 weeks ago. But she says the following weekend is.

But I think I'm done with Hubbard Park Lodge. The staff is clearly incompetent at best or homophobic at worst. This whole situation has just totally bummed me out. I can't believe I have gone from being so incredibly excited about it to absolutely let down in just 2 weeks. And I keep searching for another option but there are none I can find that I both like and we can afford and is the right size.

And when I think of all the time I've wasted on this the last 3 weeks. And the reality that in that time other places have become booked, it just pisses me off.

I know the only important part is supposed to be the meaning of the commitment ceremony, not the what, where, when, and how. But whatever. In some respects I'm a total girl and I've been thinking about what I would want if I were ever going to do this for years. And what I've always envisioned is just not going to happen.

Please no comments meant to cheer me up or telling me there is something else out there for us if we just take the time to find it. I'm pissed off. I think I have a right to be pissed off. And such comments will just piss me off more.

ETA:Catie, who is much calmer about these things than I am, is going to meet with the coordinator tomorrow, hopefully, and try to get a read on her, a better idea of the situation, and then decide for us if we are going to give up on this joint or not. Because I am neither calm nor rational when something is upsetting me.

A letter to the owner always works...sort of

First, Let me say that Catie and I are now officially Domestic Partners in the state of WI. We went back to the Courthouse yesterday to pick up our approved application and file it.

It was a very happy moment for both of us. :D Although I can't not mention that it does greatly bother me that I have to pay the same for the domestic partnership as you do for a marriage license. And yet the license gives your around 1100 legal rights/benefits and the domestic partnership only gives you 43. If we were paying per right granted, the marriage license would cost $106 and the dp would cost roughly $4.16. I know I should probably just focus on the joy of the occasion. But its pretty hard not to be upset a little by the difference.

Now on to other things. I finally wrote a letter to the owner of the company that operates Hubbard Park Lodge. In it I asked if we were being ignored because we were having a commitment ceremony.

And wouldn't you know it, the very next day I got a phone call from the event coordinator we'd been trying to get in touch with for 11 days.

Yay!

Or maybe not, because 11 days before the dates we had wanted were all available. Now they are booked.

Of course they are.

I wrote back and asked about one weekend later than we had wanted. It'll be getting risky with the weather, but it could pay off in a beautiful fall day. I shall let you know what the verdict is and if we will be looking elsewhere once again.

I'm sorry it has been so long between posts. Not for a lack of things to say, but just because this lesbian bride has now been working for 10 straight days and is incredibly crabby and tired.

What Would You Do? Getting Snubbed

Of all the venues I have looked at there has only been one that I'm really loving, Hubbard Park Lodge.

But I'm starting to get the feeling our kind isn't wanted there.

Why you ask?

Well, let's see -

I've now sent 3 different unanswered emails to 3 different people who work there. Over the course of a week and a half.

I've left a voice message that was returned with a voicemail that only gave one option to talk to someone was to go there in person when they are open on Friday or Sunday.

We went on Friday, it was closed for a wedding.

We went on Sunday, there person we were supposed to talk to wasn't there.

We left a message with our names and numbers for the person we were supposed to talk to with the hostess, who told us the event coordinator would call that day.

Its four days later and she hasn't called.

So at what point do you take a hint?

In the very last email I sent, to contact #3, I flat out asked if our inquiries weren't being responded to because the Lodge isn't interested in hosting a same-sex ceremony.

As of yet, I have had no reply to this email either.

My head tells me I should give up and move on. In all other circumstances, if a company was this unprofessional, repeatedly, I would say fuck it, and not give them my business. But I haven't seen anything else that i've liked and could afford.

This situation totally sucks.

To further add to my good mood Wisconsin's Hight Court upheld the marriage ban today

Some days I really hate the world.

Moms and Venues

After scouring every wedding website we could find on the internets for venues in Milwaukee, and ruling out all hotels because they just don't "feel like us", we happened to stumble on a location that piqued our interest.

We had originally contacted the Lakefront Brewery Palm Garden because it looked interesting to us and in an email response found out that it was WAY out of budget. However, the management also operates another facility, The Hubbard Park Lodge. And this one, although still slightly above our budget, was much more reasonable. Moreover, it actually looked like it might be something we would like even more.

We were informed that the event coordinator was there on friday nights and sunday mornings and that you could just stop by for a tour and to talk to her during those times. Friday nights they have a fish fry (its a Milwaukee thing) and Sunday mornings/afternoon they have a brunch. So we decided to go check it out.

I thought it would be a good idea to invite my parents along for a couple of reasons. 1. Catie and I aren't used to envisioning what large crowds look like in confined spaces. We needed help visualizing if a place would work for our needs. 2. I thought it would be nice to include my mom. She and I can be like oil and water. Which is, consequently, the reason the other half my brain was screaming that I shouldn't ask them to come along.

I decided to ask them to come.

I love you mom, but a lot of times it would just be nice if you said, "Oh this is a lovely spot and I think it would work." or "Oh this isn't going to be big enough, I'm sorry."

Instead I get a list of 80 different places we could also consider (which I'd mostly looked into already) And a 100 examples of what so and so did for their wedding, which frankly I just don't care about.

I know I should be more patient. But I'm just not the kind of person who cares about what anyone else did or who is looking for a 1000 suggestions. I like to do things I think of doing in ways and places I discover. And I just want you to tell me if its crazy or brilliant or both.

Needless to say there was bickering. Especially when, while eyeing the nearby Milwaukee River, my mom proclaimed that we needed to hire a babysitter for the small children who would be there. Even after I told her, probably 4 times at least, that there would only be a maximum of 4 or 5 small children at the wedding. 2 of whom were my sister's. And Catie was behind me slowly getting more and more annoyed because she thinks, and I don't disagree, that its a parents job to watch their kid and if they can't then its their job to find someone to do it. But my mom would just not let the topic drop. Or be swayed from her insane notion that it was our job to hire a babysitter for the possible 4 kids at this wedding, two of whom would be my sister's.

Argh.

Like I said, I love you mom, but don't be offended when I don't ask you to visit the next venue with us.

Although, there probably won't be any next visits, cause we sorta loved Hubbard Park Lodge.

Wedding Websites I've used so far for finding venues:
On Milwaukee Article
Premier Bride: Good long list with thumbnail pic and simple description and links to the venues website. Very useful.
The Knot: Popular but I didn't use this one as much as the others.
Wedding Mapper: Nice that I could read reviews at this one without joining.
Milwaukee County Parks Rentals Site - Handy for finding all the different places. Although ultimately none of the county parks worked for us because they either insist on a very pricey caterer - Bartolatta's or Zilli Group depending on venue. Or, in the case of South Shore Pavillion, it was musty smelling, lol.